Kung Pao Fu - A God Hand Fansite

You begin stage 7 in a wide-open desert land. You're free to roam around and kick ass with only one objective – destroy two of those green pillars (they are untouchable except for two) to reveal the gateway to the next area. One is on the top left (as you enter the area), the other's on the far right.

Notice the quicksand areas everywhere; you can kick enemies into it to dispose of them quickly if you'd like. Problem is that you won' be able to pick up the items/money they may leave. It is also possible for you to accidentally fall into it, so be sure to mash O to save yourself.

In any case, before you leave this area through the gateway (after you've destroyed both pillars), remember to refill your TP to the max. To do this, simply wait for a single midget (no claws) to appear and taunt him from a distance. These midgets hardly ever budge when taunted (though they might attempt a buttpoke if you're too close) so you can taunt them continuously until your TP maxes out.=)

As you explore you should eventually find a cave that leads into a room with several midgets and a skinny dude. Your objective there is to obtain a free roulette – Zen Revival, from the gold chest.

You initiate the battle against Dr Ion after destroying the pillar on the far right. As in stage 4, Dr Ion is fairly easy. If you've killed the skinny ass nearby before fighting Dr Ion, pick up his sword and launch it 4-5 times (press /\) before throwing it at him.

After that, you basically keep punching Dr Ion until he tries to attack, and then side dodge or duck and continue attacking. Do this fast and often enough and it'll eventually dizzy him. Then, get in 2 Yes Man Kablaams and a pummel. Unleash your godhand whenever ready.

His missiles and flying fists can be easily dodged by ducking, and back flip away from anything that has voltage. Also, do not pick God Stomp when using roulettes against him; only the first stomp will damage him.

Prepare for one of the hardest battles in God Hand. Here, you'll have to fight 4 waves of enemies, most of them elites. The first wave consists of 1 rocket fatty, 1 Mohawk lady and 1 regular thug. Considering you have godhand, unleash and take out the thug first, then the fatty. Deal with the Mohawk lady the usual way and refill as much TP as possible.

The 2nd wave consists of 1 skinny ass, 1 Mohawk lady and 1 sledgehammer thug. Unleash godhand again (you should have enough TP) and take out the skinny ass first, then the elite thug. Unfortunately, that single unleash will not be enough to kill the elite thug yet. Quickly and carefully pick up the sword the skinny ass dropped and throw it at the elite thug. Depending on your enemy level, that might kill him or not. If not, spam Drunken Fist until he dies, then deal with the Mohawk lady the same old way. Before the next wave appears, quickly pick up the sledgehammer.

The 3rd wave consists of 2 Mohawk ladies, 1 skinny ass, 1 regular thug and 1 elite thug. Throw the sledgehammer at any of them, then unleash godhand and kill off all the weaker ones first. Unleash a second time if necessary and/or spam Drunken Twist-cancels. Once they're all down, quickly pick up any weapon dropped and prepare for the last wave.

The final wave is a single Sensei. He'll do a sword thrust the moment battle begins so prepare to duck. If you've picked up a weapon, throw it at him immediately. Then, fight him the usual way. Slowly refill your TP and if possible, don't unleash any godhand on him.

URGH. Behold THE MOST annoying ass (in CaT's opinion) in God Hand. This old geezer has very high HP and long attack range; you need to memorize some of his moves to efficiently evade from them.

He usually starts out talking to himself, so if your TP isn't maxed out, taunt him quickly, then unleash godhand (considering you have it ready from the previous battle) and spam the Chain Yanker + Yes Man Kablaam tactic (considering you have any orbs). If he gets dizzy right by a wall, you can also spam High Side Kick-cancels as long as possible for higher damage.

Great Sensei does 50/50 high and mid attacks (which will require you to back flip to evade), but since he does high attacks more often, stick with ducking unless you're alert enough to tell what he does next. Some of his combos combine a few high and mid attacks so try to evade them the right way (duck or back flip).

Great Sensei's cheapest move, ever, is his secret duplication technique where depending on your enemy level he duplicates 1-4 clones of himself. To stop him from doing it, you'll have to quickly interrupt his stance, which can be really hard since if you're even a little too late, he gets invincibility frames and you won't be able to break his stance in time.

You can tell the real thing apart from the clones by looking at his shadow. Those without shadows are clones. You can take out the clones with a single Roundhouse Kick but due to constant interruption, it's mostly impossible to do so. To get rid of them, you can throw objects at them or simply perform La Bomba 1/Typhoon Kick. Attacking a clone hurts the real thing but only by a little.

Do your best not to get hit by Great Sensei or his clones' katana-knock attack (where they swing it downwards with both hands 3 times). Those hits always dizzy you (CHEAPASS!) and you're more than dead if they gang up on you when you're dizzy. You can duck from them but all it takes is 1 miss to mess up, so be careful.

There's an umbrella in one corner that you can pull out to use, but it's very weak. Lastly, if you think your head is about to explode from fury and frustration, give yourself a break and pick the easy way out - Drunken Twist-cancels. Zing! =P

Proceed to your left where you'll find several pots and break them. Soon enough 2 regular thugs will appear, so kick their ass. One of the pots contains a rocket launcher; pick it up when you're done with the thugs. The thing with this stage is that there'll be about a total of about 4 waves of enemies that appear one after another IF you clear the previous wave, and it doesn't matter where you are in the area, so please keep that in mind.

Now run over to the other side (right side of where you begin) and you'll see 2 thugs inside attacking a villager. Lure them away from the villager before you use the launcher and pick up the rosary cross dropped by the elite. Then, grab any dropped weapon and proceed towards the other side by the cursed door. There's an elite thug right by the door; takw him down and pick up your 2nd rosary cross.

When all the enemies outside are done for, enter the room nearby with a wooden door (break it). Two Mohawk ladies will be inside playing… with each other and they generally refuse to leave the room. Unleash godhand on them, and if you don't have enough TP taunt at them by the door to provoke them to chase after you. Run out of the room and let them chase you until they decide to go back into the room, then dash and face kick or throw a weapon at one of them to retain her outside; don't worry about the other one, she's so stubborn she will stay in the room quietly. Now that they are singled, kick their ass separately. The one with a red Mohawk will drop your last rosary cross.

The last room with enemies is the one with the beat-the-door; remember to spam Yes Man Kablaam on it to refill TP. Inside are 1 skinny ass to the right, and 1 Mohawk lady + 1 elite thug in the back. Once inside the room, run to the right and take out the skinny ass. Make sure not to catch the other two's attention. Once he's down, pick up an object, go back outside and throw it at one of the remaining two enemies to lure him/her over, then fight them separately.

Behind the wall where the elite thug and Mohawk lady stood is a ladder you can climb to get to the Little Devil challenge in stage 7. Your objective is to destroy the car in time, but as always, take out the enemies (a few clawed midgets and skinny asses) first to ease the process. For the easy way, either do Typhoon Kick or spam Drunken Twist-cancels... again (on the skinny asses). =) When they're cleared, roundhouse-cancel the car to destruction.

Before you leave this area through the cursed door, make sure to re-visit the corner to its left for a freebie statue. Keep circling/running/punching around until the statue appears. This one's likely to drop a red card.

Hopefully from the statue in the previous area you've either received a gold/red or bikini card. If your TP is full, unleash godhand immediately. One unleash should be enough to dizzy Belze so get 2 Yes Man Kablaams and a pummel. Considering you have orbs, spam Chain Yanker + Yes Man Kablaam and his health should go down fast.

If not, from where you stand, taunt him. Thanks to Ryman, it's discovered that Belze is stupid enough not to do a thing when you taunt. He does get provoked but as long as you're a distance away he won't actually try to attack or even come close.

Belze has really fast attacks and it's often tricky to time your side dashes/duck to dodge them when you're close. However, he is rarely offensive when you keep a distance from him (regardless of enemy level); he just stands there and waits for you to come over.

To abuse this, stay away and keep taunting until you're ready for godhand, then unleash. Repeat this until Belze loses half his life and sprout his wings. You can still taunt him at this point but Belze may approach you so be ready to run off (he will definitely approach you if your enemy level is high). If you need him to slow down and keep a further distance from you, throw the pots at him. (viva la pots!) You can repeat this to victory, really.

Belze sometimes takes the opportunity to shoot projectiles when you're far away; side dodge to avoid. When fighting him face to face, he sometimes spit this green… crap, which practically blinds your vision like Elvis's smoke. When that happens, back flip like mad for defense… or try your luck and keep punching him anyway (like I used to). =P